When finding myself single in the second half of life, I followed the general wisdom and wrote a list to express a clear intention of what I wanted my future partner to be like.
I titled my list M.O.D. (Man of my Dreams). It was very detailed. The columns were divided into givens, non-negotiables and negotiables.
It was a page and a half long, yet only two lines were devoted to physical appearance (just to make the point I’m not completely shallow :-)).
One could certainly say it was comprehensive.
Do I think it was a good thing to write a list? Yes and …
Writing the list helped me clarify what was important to me. The bit I missed until later was that it was really a list of the person and partner I wanted to be. Had I spotted that earlier I could have gotten to work on being that person instead of waiting for someone else to show up and point out where I could improve 😉
Having experienced being single and being in relationships I’d say both have their upsides and downsides.
Regardless of which state we find ourselves in (or somewhere in between) the learning for me has been to use right here, right now to get better at being me.
When you think of the qualities you’d like in a partner, which are the ones you’d like to exhibit more of in yourself?
Do tell, here.