In researching the ‘what keeps you awake at night?’ of midlife women, we found that the following six topics most consistently showed up. They concern us too and that’s why we formed The Ripenists.
It therefore seems apropos that we resolve to take deliberate action to make these areas of our midlife experience more delicious. In the spirit of public accountability, here is my Ripenist Resolve 2016.
Wellbeing – taking care of ourselves so we meet life and all its opportunities with ease
Having spent the last five decades ‘experimenting’ with what works for my body, I now have a veritable encyclopaedic knowledge about what my body likes and what it doesn’t. For example, my body likes: eating small meals and resting frequently, walking, dancing, smelling freshly cut grass, roses, clematis and daphne. It doesn’t like gluten, dairy and sugar or Papaya, not enough sleep or treated dressings. (I know, what a sensitive wee flower – but aren’t we all in different ways when we pay attention?).
Thus my resolve is to trust and put into practice my hard-won wisdom about what works for my own wellbeing.
Beloveds – choosing how we show up in the relationships with those that matter most to us
Like most midlife women my life is very full. I don’t find it easy to focus on one thing at a time and (sadly) all of my Beloveds would say I’m easily distracted. Being present, for me, isn’t just about ignoring the call of my phone. It’s also about training my mind to follow the thread of another’s conversation without getting side-tracked with a thought of my own. While I believe that being truly present is the greatest gift I can give – both to myself and others – I sometimes get distracted and forget!
So my resolve is to endeavour to be fully present in every conversation, including those with myself!
Peace of Mind – taking care of our thoughts and feelings so we can be present to our lives
Following on from the theme I was warming to in Beloveds – I’m not always present with myself either and thus don’t always know what I need physically or emotionally in any given moment. To figure this out I have to slow down and check in with myself – either via a quiet internal conversation or often most successfully by journaling.
This year I resolve to develop a habit of checking in with myself often so I can attend to my own thoughts and feelings.
Self image – being confidently visible to ourselves and others
Having lots on, being in a rush and focusing on the needs of others means I find it easy to dismiss the importance of taking time to consider what I feel like wearing or spending a few extra minutes on my hair and make up so I walk out the door feeling my best. Taking these few extra moments communicates to me that I matter – and what better way to go out into the world to make my contribution!
My resolve is to walk out the door every day feeling that I look my best.
Purpose – finding meaning through career, contribution and creative endeavours
2016 for me is all about growing The Ripenists while doing justice to my consulting practice, my Beloveds and myself. There’s plenty going on and plenty of opportunities for meaning through career, contribution and creative endeavours. The challenge is to stay true to the priorities that matter most to me and practice saying ‘no’ gracefully, to the rest.
That’s something of a challenge for a recovering people-pleaser like me!
Abundance – understanding what sufficiency in the second half means to each of us
This year one of the things I’ll be writing about is the role scarcity plays in our lives. For me the most insidious place scarcity shows up is in my relationship with time. I rarely feel like there is enough – either right now or in terms of my life overall. Counter-intuitively rather than making me relish every moment, this more often than not makes it difficult to fully appreciate the here and now.
I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to address this yet, but my resolve is to make peace with time. I’ll share my thinking and learning with you as it evolves.
And, given all of the above, my word for the year not surprisingly is … Presence!
Have you chosen a word for 2016? We’d love to know what it is either in the comments below or on our Facebook page.